“I can’t report her to police.”
I received a call on Christmas Eve 2019.
I was just about to leave work for the Holidays, when the phone rang. I thought about letting it go to voice mail, but picked up instead.
The caller was cautious and hesitant when we first spoke. He did not tell me his name.
We spoke cordially for a few minutes and from that conversation I sensed that he was well educated, proximate to retirement age, wealthy and feeling deeply betrayed.
I’ll called him “Joe”.
Joe said he called because of a name (of an embezzler) he found posted on Dental FraudBusters.
Related: Find an Embezzler
Joe asked me if I could tell him anything about the person’s whereabouts.
I asked why?
Joe went on to tell me that he was in a relationship with this woman and “loaned” her $60,000 and then she disappeared.*
*her disappearance was the result of being sent to prison – but Joe did not know at the time
In essence, she swindled Joe out of $60K, just days before she went to prison.
Joe’s story sounded familiar.
It was easy for me to conclude that Joe was romantically targeted by this woman.
Joe told me that she was outgoing, always well dressed and appeared to “have everything together”.
She did not tell Joe about her previous job as a dental office manager, or the fact that she was charged with felony embezzlement.
Joe said that during their relationship, she enticed him to do things and disclose personal information.
Information that left Joe feeling compromised.
This caused Joe to feel uneasy and unwilling to report her to police or commence legal action to recover the $60,000 he ‘loaned’ her.
It was a few years later when Joe discovered her name here on Dental FraudBusters. He began to look deeper and learned that she was recently released from prison. Joe desperately wanted to track her down; I suspect because he wanted to contract her in person.
I was unable to offer him any assistance and recommended he contact a local “skip and trace” company to locate her whereabouts.
Joe admitted that he was unwilling to report his former girlfriend to police out of fear and embarrassment.
Joe was suffering from “victim dilemma”.
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Victim Dilemma
I sometimes receive calls from dentists who have uncovered clear evidence that their employee has stolen money from the practice, and yet they seem unwilling to do anything about it.
These dentists fall into one of three groups:
The Ostriches – these are dentists who put their heads in the sand. They are reluctant to confront their employees for a number of reasons. Some believe that it will cost more in accounting and legal fees than it’s worth. Others self-minimize the scope of theft. (“it can’t be more than $20-30,000) Dentists in this remain reluctant to confront the employee and seek accountability (see: “I’ll just let her go. What could possibly go wrong?”)
The Illogical Pragmatists – these are dentists who reach the conclusion that there is no benefit to pursuing investigation, recovery, accountability or legal action. They have convinced themselves that it is not worth the time, cost or effort.
The Dilemmas – these dentists are in a similar situation as “Joe”. They know they have been embezzled and are reluctant to do anything On one hand, they want accountability and restitution but on the other fear their employee will slander them, or disclose personal information.
If you share similar concerns, take time read what actually happened when these dental embezzlers were confronted.
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